The Cardinal Sin of Speeding Bossier/Shreveport Edition

It has been forever since I’ve last documented my adventures in the Shreveport/Bossier area. Grad school is too blame, or my time management skills could use some work…

Life in Louisiana is still swamp-tastic .  I am sad to report that I  did experience one bit of southern un-hospitality when I received my very first speeding ticket. I wish I can say it was for going 90 on an empty highway…but for some reason when you say, so I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone, all of a sudden you get that “ooooo” look and then the face. I am not even going to defend myself…Lady GaGa was blasting a little too loud that morning and I forgot it was the first day of school, I didn’t get the memo to a) slow down at the giant flashing lights and b) the police officers have come out of hiding and are out to play

It wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the SWAT team that pulled me over…how many police officers does it take to stop one Maja? Apparently two bikes and a car.  I suppose the serious effort behind pesky speeders makes me feel a little safer….God only knows what kind of treatment the real criminals get!

$300 later and 8 hours lost in “defensive driving school” I’d say I’ve learned my lesson. Now I am that person that you want to kill going 10 MPH in the school zone…safety first people!.

In all seriousness, sucks that it takes a slap on the wrist to learn my lesson, but I got the message loud and clear. There went half an ipad!  Oh well, I think the state of Louisiana can really use some money, so there went my contribution.  Since that day, I’ve seen a few more people make the same mistake and each time I hope that they don’t get the full on SWAT team deal because that didn’t make for a very enjoyable experience. What ever happened to that whole you get a warning when you get pulled over for the first time myth? Oh yea, I think that excludes school zones.

Other than not speeding in school zones …I’ve become pretty engrained into my surroundings. However, you will not see me wearing any leopard print any time soon…which seems to be the local favorite. I especially saw a lot of that on the night of my birthday celebration. Sure made for an appealing visual experience.

Life is Louisiana is great…it is hard not to have a good time where gator bites are readily available and there are more Wal-Marts in a 5 mile radius than there are Starbucks. Also can’t forget the people…strangers might just end up offering you the best advice you’ve ever received!

I to am starting to take away some important lessons from the swamp…the main one being that that we have to celebrate those little victories and don’t forget to be thankful for the simple stuff…all the rest takes care of itself.

 

Holy Macaroni

I am happy to report operation macaroni salad was a true success and a testament of team work and determination. When I think of macaroni salad (doesn’t happen often, as I do find it to be the nastiest picnic food known to man kind) I think of pounds of mayo and a lucky person mixing all the ingredients together. I would have never imagined macaroni salad to come in giant milk containers. Perhaps it is only the efficiency of Wal-Mart that never ceases to amaze me, but I point to exhibit A, 1/8 of the 40 lbs of macaroni salad that was purchased. The macaroni salad model opted to remain anonymous, which enabled me to cut her out, but in exchange zoom in on the starchy goodness in a milk carton.

Exhibit A

Arriving at Wal-Mart to pick up the macaroni I was pleasantly surprised to have a flawless delivery. I am saving exhibit B as a badge of honor for a long time, because I don’t foresee ordering 40lbs of macaroni salad any time soon and I’d want something to remember this amazing experience by.  Mostly everything was going according to plan until the nice ladies at Wal-Mart tried to slip us an extra 8lbs of macaroni salad. They must have thought we wouldn’t notice.  As shrewd negotiators that we are, we didn’t allow for this travesty to happen and as you can see in exhibit C, it got a little heated with finger pointing; however, we came on top.  Couldn’t let this opportunity slip by without doing some market research and finding out what the largest macaroni salad bulk order was…the cashier was a little surprised but confirmed my suspicion, we win! While I was conducting the research, Ninja #3 was intrigued by an apple waste just sitting near check, that is when we were reminded we were at Wal-Mart, please see exhibit D.

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

The macaroni salad was transported safely, see exhibit E  and on the day of the picnic, I saw it being consumed in large amounts.

Exhibit E

It was the hit of the picnic, of course, and word is nobody got poisoned, so really this was a rather successful operation.  I am wondering what happened to all the leftovers…

Mission: Obtain and Deliver 40 lbs of Macaroni Salad

What does 40 lbs of macaroni salad look like? No idea, but I am about to find out on Thursday. The attack of the macaroni salad  is about to go down in a big way and I hope I make it out alive. Luckily I have some amazing co-workers that are going to help in mission: obtain 40 lbs of macaroni at all costs.

You ask yourself why would you possibly need 40 lbs of macaroni salad? I have been asking myself that every day since I found out about the macaroni nightmare, but actually, it has gotten better, originally it was 65 lbs.  We are having one of those good old pot luck cook outs and my directorate has been assigned quite possibly the nastiest picnic food, macaroni salad.

Luckily, Wal-Mart is extremely reliable and they had no problem with my massive order of 40 lbs of macaroni. As a matter of fact, they sounded very nonchalant about it, as if this is a common thing for them, which scares me a little. After all, it is Wal-Mart, anything goes.

Today, we had a macaroni salad logistical meeting- when do we pick up the macaroni and how do we transport it (safely) back to the base, and most importantly where to store the massive amounts of the starchy goodness.

I am happy to report, because of some serious team work, we have worked out all the details…lets just hope on game day the plan works as anticipated, it is quite the production as you can imagine. People better love and eat this macaroni salad in massive amounts or I will feel all the effort was in vain.  It my greatest hope that all our storing methods are fail proof or otherwise it really might turn into macaroni nightmare, the attack of food poisoning and I don’t want to be responsible for that one…

By the way, there will be a part two, and pictures of the macaroni. Aren’t you wondering what 40lbs of macaroni salad looks like???? I know I am, can’t wait until Thursday, pumped to get this mission complete with flying colors.

Louisiana Rain Means Business

One of my co-works gave me a good piece of advice that I should do a better job of following. While residing in Louisiana, at all times, you must have an umbrella in your car, at home and at work or you are in real trouble. It really should be heavy duty rain coat, but the umbrella is the bare minimum.

Rain tends to come on very suddenly and create flood like conditions because the roads could use some work. If it has been raining for more than twenty minutes the roads become a nightmare. Here are a couple of pictures from yesterday-the crackberry doesn’t give the roads justice, but a small child could have possibly drowned on the streets. While the rain can cause problems, as soon as it stops the blistering sun dries everything up quickly and the only hazard that remains are the Louisiana drivers.

Hey tractor can you get out of my parking spot?

As my Louisiana adventures continue, I am continuing to have a great time. Coming home from work today I was expecting someone to take my parking spot, but that someone should have not been a tractor! Not only did the tractor take my parking spot, it took up the entire row of spots. This isn’t usual (from what I have seen so far) so I can’t even say that it is Shreveport-Bossier specific, but nonetheless a great story to share.

I have seen a few tractors on the roads, this was interesting at first, but now that I get at least a weekly siting, they don’t get me as excited anymore. Tractors in my parking spot however do not make me that happy and I am hoping this is just a temporary thing. Lets face it, competing for a spot with a tractor every day can get ugly, quickly.

Sell Gold While I Grocery Shop…I’ll Say Yes

I’ve some pretty intense shopping experiences at the Super Wal-Mart, but I am thinking another grocery store might be getting my  business.  It might be hard to walk away, considering, just this past weekend I made someone’s day.

Me: (strolling my stroller through the water isle)

Random Lady (grabs my hand) You know they say everyone has a twin (said in a very thick Louisiana accent, took me a while to process)

Me: Sure…

Random Lady: You look just like my sister when she was your age.

Me: Thanks?

Random Lady: It just gave me goose bumps!!

Not every day do you get these types of moments in grocery stores, well actually, this happens all the time here in the Bossier/Shreveport area so maybe I will have a similar type of experience at this new store.  People really like to take a moment to chat around these parts, which isn’t too bad of a thing, can startle you a bit when the stranger grabs your hand, but other than that, pretty used to this by now.

This new store that I am referring to is Cotton Grocery.  I am a multi tasker, so the fact that I can trade in my gold for cash while grocery shopping is really a big draw.  It seems you can do all kinds of things at this grocery store, cash checks, sell gold, and hopefully have a lot of good heart to heart conversations with complete strangers.  I have high hopes for my new shopping adventures.

Bubba Keg

With a name like that, how can it not be an amazing product? Today, I was introduced to a bubba keg, a giant tub that can keep your beverage of choice. In this case, it was coffee.  In my previous entry I talked about Shreveport’s love for beverages. The bubba keg just goes to prove this point further.  There is that slogan that everything is bigger and better in TX…not sure if they like their bubba keg’s there as well, but I am sure our neighbors must have their own version, or we’ll steal that title from them very quickly!

There isn’t really that much more to say about the bubba keg.  The picture speaks for itself.  There is also a 52 once option which can all be checked out on bubba keg’s official website, but I felt compelled to share what I saw today, which was the hot pink edition of the 30+ oz.

I suppose only a bubba keg can quench the thirst that comes from the serious southern heat.

Shreveport Loves its Beverages

During a base safety briefing a few weeks ago I learned one of the biggest hazards on the Louisiana roads is Louisiana drivers. This is an interesting thing to think about, and it made me wonder what can possibly be so bad about these drivers? Sure, they don’t use turn signals, but Boston and New York drivers have enough road rage combined that the whole turn signal thing seems like a minor problem. I recently learned that parts of Louisiana are big into drive-throughs, for alcoholic beverages. It leads me to believe that might be one of the big reasons why Louisiana drivers would be considered hazardous.

Just read the lovely description below, it makes the convenience of grabbing a frozen daiquiri on the go seem as easy as your morning venti ice coffee.

Cajun Daiquiri provides Shreveport with delicious frozen drinks at the convenience of a drive thru only store. From your car customers may choose from a traditional flavored daiquiri or try their luck with a newer wild concoction. Reasonably priced throughout the day their convenient happy hours allow the ability to grab one for your friend. Next time you drive down Youree Drive treat yourself to a Cajun Daiquiri.

Well, on a positive side note, every single joint caries the famous southern sweet tea, which proves my point, Shreveport sure does love its beverages!

For the record, my car is not in the line from the lovely visual…

Crawfish & Summer Go Together

In most places, summer time signifies the season of festivals.  Memorial Day usually welcomes in the summer and in Shreveport, it was marked by the Mudbug Madness festival. Mudbug is a type of crawfish, and I’ve heard so much about these things that I figured there was no better time to try it then at Mudbug.

As you can see, that plate looks pretty intense, and those ready to venture on this path should be prepared for a lot of work. It is no easy feat and an instruction manual should have been included. Luckily, at the table I was sitting there were some seasoned pros that made it look easy. Maybe one day I’ll become that good, but that would require a lot of practice that I don’t know if I can commit to.

Aside from crawfish, the festival attracted a diverse crowed, see exhibit A and B below.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

The selection of fried food available was unbelievable, although many attendees seem to have been disappointed by the lack of a fried oreo.

Mudbug Madness has set the bar pretty high for future events…

How About That Arena Football…

I had the privilege of really integrating into my local community this weekend.  What better way to do so then arena football! The community is almost as into arena football as they are into the Super Wal-Mart, so you can only imagine the excitement. The Shreveport Battle Wings are the 2008 and 2009 Arena Football champions. Happy to know that my new team are winners! Although they lost last night, that didn’t stop the fans from getting into the game.

We had both cheerleaders and mascots. I am happy the Battle Wings take their half time entertainment seriously. Dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” it was a quality performance.

I had an opportunity to get my picture taken with the some sort of mascot, but this time around I passed. Luckily there are many more games in the season, and for the hefty price of $5 to get in, I may catch a few more.  As with any other sporting event, the venue makes up their money in concessions. I have never seen so many concession choices in my life, from BBQ to frozen margaritas, to the traditional cotton candy there was something to please every taste.

Even the local high school band made an appearance. They were more excited about the free snacks then they were about the performance so next time I expect a little more pep.

I did appreciate the community involvement and seeing three local area high schools present.  I think high school football season will be a pleasant surprise.  I truly hope everyone really gets into it…which I am sure will be the case!

Finally, onto the stars of the night, the Shreveport Battle Wings. Although they lost, and didn’t score 60 points (if they did, the entire audience would have gotten a free Papa Johns Pie!) I can’t say that I was disappointed.

The reason they didn’t score 60 points could possibly be because of those yellow flags you see on the field. The US Army sure did get their moneys worth out of Arena Football sponsorship. Every two seconds we heard “the US Army penalty flag.” Now, if I were the Army I would want the touchdowns named after me, not the penalties, but that’s just me.

All in all, a Saturday night well spent.  People love their football here, I am going to fit right in!